W.a.l.t entertain
Draft 1
The leep
Next, said Kelly. I stumbled to my feet and I started my climb to the top of the mamith ladder. I biurse in to the fresh, free, air at the top of the tower I lened over the side to look at the vie... Right said Kelly are you scered of heights. No, I replied. "Good". She told me how to work the belay device. "ready to go". Definitely, I seid very unashored of the danger involved. I lent over the ege. Thump thump thump a figre apered from the little gap in the flore. It was annts. Hi I said she waved her charcoal hand at me. I seid good bye. then it happened...
Wow! I said as I slipped like jelly of the side of the tower. Click, wizzzz, clunk. Click, wizzzz, clunk said the carobeners over and over agan like a stuck recorded. as the rope wistfily traieled thrue my vane streced hand it started to tern black. I started to enjoy my self. I briskly started to jump and hop as I descended down to the ground.
Well done shar wisped. Thank a lot I under my breath. I do edmit it I did do a great job didn't I.
Weooooeeeeooooo screamed the siren. Feed time. Yummy I said to my self.
Siccese criteria
Buddy comment...
I like the way you used description in your writing
I think you could inprove on adding more verbs.
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