CLASS FOCUS - Recount writing
Purpose (Why are we writing)- to share our experience of cross country with a wider audience.
WALT record our ideas with more detail
CO CONSTRUCTED SUCCESS CRITERIA - WE WILL KNOW WE HAVE ACHIEVED THIS WHEN...
the events are in order - e.g Beginning, Middle, End
the writing is in the past tense - e.g I ran as fast as I could...
we use time connectives - e.g next, meanwhile, within minutes, soon after, later, etc
we use powerful verbs - e.g running, sprinting, warming up, stretching, fainting etc
we use similes - e.g I ran as fast as a cheetah... the sweat was dripping down my face like a leaky tap.
(DRAFT)
Cross country
We walked cazily over to the deck and Lined up in our year groups.
My stomach felt like there was a pack of angry bulls trying to get out.
Then we watched as the year 6 girls slowly walked across the field and start there warm ups. After they had done the warm ups they all stared silently as they all looked glumly at the cycle mountain.
The hooter went and then before I new it they were leaving the field. After about 10 minutes the next race went and then the next and then the next. Finally it was the year 5 boys, we were so Nervous and so excited at the same time.
Plan
Ben, I really like the way you have started your writing. Especially setting the scene, by telling us how you felt as you waited. It's a pity you didn't finish it, you really had me wanting to know more. Great work, Rosie.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your recount Ben. I can see how your choice of words like, looking glumly at the cycle mountain, really helped me make a clear picture of how it looked and felt to be there. I can see there is more to share from your plan. I"m looking forward to seeing the completed narrative.
ReplyDeleteWOW it's lookin awesome i like the way you discribe the way that you feel and i can see what your doing and i can't wait to see the finished product!!
ReplyDeleteThat is really cool writing Ben there is lots of describing and you told what have you done at the cross country. Good job
ReplyDeleteNathanael
Wow Ben what a great recount ! It kind of make me feel like I was there!
ReplyDeleteIt was very descriptive to!
Well done Ben your riting is very detailed and I liked the wasy you told your feelings well done.and you chose a really clear picture.I can see you in the picture.
ReplyDeleteMeg
Ben I see you in the picture of the year 5 boys with the green top and cool plan.
ReplyDeleteBy Grace C :D